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A Parent's (Brief) Guide to the Aftershock of Nazarene Youth Conference

7/19/2015

29 Comments

 
The teenager that left for Louisville, the site of Nazarene Youth Conference (NYC) this year, is most likely not the teenager that returned.

They are saying things like "God spoke to me"  . . . "My new friends from Alaska"  . . . "You know, the Lord's Prayer is really cool." 

This. Is. Not. Normal. I know, right? 

Sonya and I had a 45-minute non-stop conversation with Parker and Payton about every single aspect of their experience at NYC. Information that would have normally taken days or weeks exploded out of these male teenagers' mouths like a National Park geyser. 

It was cool.
Picture
Youth in worship at Nazarene Youth Conference Louisville Credit: James Smith July 11, 2015 Facebook
Life Sized Decisions
Large-scale events create the space teenagers need to experience genuine faith. Life is only lived by a teenager with others, especially peers. Things only make sense by testing their thoughts by interacting with someone else. This whole process is amplified when 7,000 of them get together at the same time and place.  Now, they are home.
I wrote a paper a couple of years ago for the journal Missiology. You can read the whole thing if you want. TL; dr -- The gist of the research contends teenagers listen most closely to God's calling when they are in a group setting, outside of a regular routine, and have the ear of a close mentor figure. NYC took care of two of the three. What teenagers need now is a mentor figure.
Mentors Needed Now
Where in the world will parents today find a mentor figure for their teenage son or daughter? Surprisingly enough, you as the parent might just be the one. They will be watching you closely. 

They will want to bounce new ideas off of sympathetic ears. These ideas will seem outlandish, unrealistic, a little crazy, and they will fly at you like someone playing bubble ball soccer. Try not to dismiss these ideas, allow them to percolate into something cohesive.
Try not to dump a bunch of things from the world these teenagers left: chores, work details, stressful stuff that happened at home while they were gone. Let them ease back into home life. 

They might have already talked about the Big Important Things That Happened at NYC. 

Now, it's the small conversations and quiet realizations about what God means to them or what He wants them to do with their lives that might still bang around their skulls; they are not sure ... yet ... what to do with these thoughts and decisions. This could take some time for them to sort out.

They think you want them to be a doctor, but they've heard from God Who wants them to learn Spanish and live in an urban barrio ministering to drug addicts, and they are worried sick about how Mom or Dad are going to react. Be ready and prayerful and patient, did I mention being ready, already? Let your response be less reactive and more receptive. 

True, you the parent might need as much grace as the child in responding to God's calling. Be ready. Ephesians 6:15 calls all Christians to be prepared (with the "readiness") to take the "gospel of peace" wherever it is needed. It might be needed in your teen's heart and mind right now. So, be ready.


More Than a Parent 
These tripled-pumped-up teenagers will need ears besides you. It's not that they don't love you, but you're Mom/Dad. They know you support them (or at least they think you should). 

They also need to hear confirmation from a third party. Another adult mentor is needed, especially a youth pastor, small group leader, coach, teacher, family friend . . . Encourage your teen to make contact and fill this person in on all the things that happened last week at NYC. 
Picture
North Central Ohio teenagers at NYC 2015 in Louisville. Source: Jill Harris (Facebook)
As my friend Moise in Benin would say, "C'est chaud!" [French pronounced like "say show" meaning "it's hot!"] In other words, don't wait until memories fade, and things cool down. The time is now for these major decisions to turn into life trajectories. Keep the momentum going. 

Mentors will help keep the energy of last week rolling forward into the rest of your teen's life. 

Make Your Gratitude Obvious
Finally, be thankful for events like NYC. Be grateful for the adults that planned it and accompanied them. Write a quick note to one of the organizers like Justin Pickard at NYI's US/Canada office or if you're from the East Central U.S. Field (East Kentucky, West Virginia, Ohio districts), let James Smith know how much you appreciate the work put into this event. Maybe even send your district organizer(s) a gift card. They put a lot into your children this past week/month/year. Make your gratitude tangible.

Things happen at NYC that could never have been planned or anticipated. God works through events like this one. It's scary, I know, a lot has happened in a few days. 


I've been a teen, a youth pastor, and a parent. This is what God created us--and our teens--for. 


Let His Kingdom come and shine forth!
29 Comments
Joey Brummett
7/13/2015 03:22:20 am

Great article - I remember the impact that NYC made on me as a teen, and several more as a leader. So glad for this great week for our youth. It is lifechanging.

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:22:07 am

Thanks for your feedback. I think we're all still recovering from NYC, and will be for a long time.

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Spencer Baggott
7/13/2015 04:27:40 am

Well said professor! I still remember very well some profound moments from NYC '91. Some things surely fade a bit with time, but with apt responses from parents and mentors, who knows what God will do in the thousands that are on fire right now?? C'est chaud maintenant!

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Lynn Strickland
7/13/2015 09:09:43 am

Hi Spencer!!! So cool to be reading this and see your name! 8 of us went from lake city!

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:23:07 am

Ca, c'est vrai! Last week it was the NYC staff, this week it's our turn.

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Abner Garcia link
7/13/2015 04:53:52 am

yesterday later I pray at the end of the Sunday Service a lady member of the church came to me asking me to pray for her teenager, a 14 years old girl. According to her mom she was possessed by demons. When I had the chance to speak with the girl she told me his papa left the family when she was close to get 15's, her mother took her to the doctor because she tough was with dementia and she was feeling alone. I ask about her relationship with God and she answers "He is my Pather and I love Him". She cried a lot. Broken my heart. I prayed not for her instead with her for her parent and now she is better, smiling and ready to continue being the daughter of the God she loves. We need to work with teenager close and with love. Nazarenes are challenged to be better Christians starting at home with the family.

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:24:07 am

Working with youth never really ends, and every moment is a potential life-changer. Glad you were where you needed to be.

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Greg Wells
7/13/2015 07:42:21 am

This is great stuff. Thank you for sharing!

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:24:58 am

You bet. Check back over the next few days and weeks. I'll post more for parents, mentors, and teens as they sort through all that happened last week at NYC.

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Ronald Mansfield
7/13/2015 07:46:13 am

NYC 15 really changed the way I've been looking at God. The last night I finally realized what God is calling me to do, become a pastor

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:29:18 am

"The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." 1 Thess 5:24. Always remember, even when things get hazy and confusing. Prepare to do what God has called you to do. It will be hard, this preparation: personally, it's more difficult to work with a person's soul than their bodies (doctors) or their machines (engineers). There's an eternity being at stake. This is your calling, step forward into it, and shine forth. You are part of the coming wave. I'm not sure what God is up to, but I know it's more than any of us could ever imagine.

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Jesse Middendorf
7/13/2015 08:15:18 am

Very well stated, and so true. The impact of NYC will be enhanced by wise response from parents, pastors, and friends!

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:32:52 am

A pleasant surprise to hear from you. Thanks for the encouragement, which is no surprise at all! The full impac of NYC is yet to be determined but it's an honor to be part of what's happening today. God is calling many young lives right now, and it is overwhelming and challenging but I wouldn't want it to be any other way. BTW, you might be interested in my work on megaregions; my first post is on this blog, last week, with much more to come.

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Michelle Lepley
7/13/2015 01:27:24 pm

NYC was amazing. I was there as a youth leader. I can not wait to see the fruit in the lives of these teens. God was there. God gave our teens hope!!! Keep praying. We prayed do much before NYC but now is when the students will keep and live out what they heard.

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:34:35 am

Amen. Your presence extends well beyond the conference, these teenagers need people just like you in their lives. As a parent, we'll pray for you as you continue this great and necessary work.

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Jennifer
7/13/2015 02:13:18 pm

Our daughter gets home tomorrow, I can hear in her voice the excitement & "change" this week has made in her life. Thank you to everyone who contributed & invested in these kid's life, you are much appreciated & such a blessing!

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:35:57 am

I can't wait to hear what has happened. The stories I'm hearing are beyond description. Keep checking in over the next few days and weeks. I'll post more for how to follow-up this life-changing encounter experienced by so many.

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Matthew
7/13/2015 03:40:42 pm

That's the exact reaction we had when we picked our son up. And he has been talking just like your article says and we have been listening and thankful to God for all that we have seen and heard. Where did our old son go he was a wonderful kid but wow did God ever improve on the old version. I hope everyone's child came back like ours

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:37:53 am

And, it's our ears they need right now. I'm listening more than talking. I'm hearing great stories. I just need to remember to tell our youth workers what is happening in the lives of my kids. They wore themselves out last week, and they need the encouragement too. I plan on posting a lot more in the next few days and weeks to follow-up.

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Amanda
7/13/2015 03:44:12 pm

My son just returned last night from NYC and my first reaction was that this was not the kid that I dropped off at the bus. My son has been so full of life and calmness. He returned home to a chaotic house with 3 other siblings and grandparents under one room and he is calm. I am so thankful he had this experience and I continue to pray that he will build on what he learned at NYC. God is amazing!!

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:40:12 am

It is just like when Jesus calmed the disciples in the middle of the storm. It's right in that moment that faith was most evident. Praying that your son continues to grow into all that happened last week. I'll post some more in the following days and weeks that might be of some help.

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Bob Tattrie
7/14/2015 12:28:19 am

Our teens got home late last night. Haven't had a chance to see them yet. But this so true about NYC returnees. I had the chance to coordinate our Canada West District NYC for Orlando, Phoenix & St. Louis and be a sponsor for Toronto. NYC is an amazing experience and one I would definitely promote to any parent/pastor/grandparent to do what you can to get your teens there. Start saving/fund raising for the next one now. .

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:41:20 am

Very true, there is no way to put a price on this kind of life-changing encounter. It was quite true this year for our family.

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Mom T
7/14/2015 01:56:01 am

I just wish life hadn't slammed our daughter in the face the minute she got home. The bounce was taken from her. I'm praying after this storm passes she can get it back.

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Matt link
7/14/2015 02:42:42 am

It's when God does something amazing that the Adversary wants to diminish it's impact. We'll pray along with you for her. 1 Thessalonians 5:24.

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Tom West
7/14/2015 08:53:55 am

Matt, this was a wonderful read at a perfect time. Thank you for your insight as a youth pastor, pastor, parent, educator. I appreciate your wisdom and insight. Keep these coming!

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Dawn
7/14/2015 09:54:47 am

Thanks for this great article. My daughter was impacted in a powerful way by this event. Thankful for her youth pastor who discipled the youth group before, during, and now after the event. Thankful to those who organized and helped to make this event happen...no small feat. God spoke...and those at NYC heard...and He continues to speak.

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Greg Grimaud
7/16/2015 12:41:00 am

This nailed the exact scenario of what I've been hearing in my home. God's Spirit is at work. "Whether they turn to the right or to the left, may they hear a voice behind them saying, 'this is the way, walk in it!" Thank you for the truth of your article.

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Harold link
1/2/2021 11:52:35 pm

Great blog, thanks for posting

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